Funny Friday Quote: Thirty Minutes to a Cleaner House

Posted: May 8, 2009 in Funny Friday Picks, May 2009
Tags: , , , , ,

Funny Friday Quote:  Thirty Minutes to a Cleaner House (Author Unknown)

You’re getting company in thirty minutes.  Your house is a mess.  What will you do?

Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to the first session of Housekeeping Tips for Regular People.  If you’re not a Martha Stewart type of housekeeper, this column is not for you.  However, for the rest of you, this is your chance to learn 15 Secret Shortcuts to Good Housekeeping that your mother never told you.  I will be breaking this segment up into 3 weeks:)

SECRET TIP 1:  DOOR LOCKS

If a room clearly can’t be whipped into shape in thirty days–much less thirty minutes–employ the LOCKED DOOR method of cleaning.  Tell anyone who tries to go in the room that the door is intentionally locked.  CAUTION:  It is not advisable to use this tip for the bathroom.  Time:  2 seconds

SECRET TIP 2: DUCT TAPE

No home should be without an ample supply.  Not only is it handy for plumbing repairs, but it’s a great way to hem drapes, tablecloths, clothes, just about anything.  No mess, no fuss.  Time: 2-3 minutes

SECRET TIP 3:  OVENS

If you think ovens are just for baking, think again.  Ovens represent at least nine cubic feet of hidden storage space, which means they’re a great place to shove dirty dishes, dirty clothes, or just about anything you want to get out of sight when company’s coming.  Time:  2 minutes

SECRET TIP 4:  DRYERS

Like Secret Tip 3, except bigger.  CAUTION:  Avoid hiding flammable objects here.  Time: 2.5 minutes

SECRET TIP 5:  WASHING MACHINES AND FREEZERS

Like Secret Tip 4, except even bigger.  Time:  3 minutes

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 104:33 (NKJV)

“I will sing to the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today is such a beautiful day!  I look outside and admire Your handy work.  Thank You for the beauty that is shown through all that is around me.  I give You honor, glory, and praise.  You have set my heart on fire this day and I am ready to move through this place.  I love You and thank You for this blessed day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

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