Archive for the ‘Funny Friday Picks’ Category

Funny Friday Quote:  Who’s Driving?

Two elderly women were out driving.  Cruising along, they came to an intersection.  The stoplight was red, but the driver kept going.  Alarmed the passenger thought, I must be losing it.  I could have sworn we just went through a red light.

They came to another red light.  Again, they drove right through.  Again, the passenger questioned her sanity, but kept quiet.  Still, she was getting nervous.

At the 3rd intersection, sure enough, it happened again.  The passenger couldn’t let it go this time.  She turned to her friend and said, “Mildred, did you know that we just ran 3 red lights in a row?  You could have killed us both!”

Mildred said, “Oh my!  Am I driving?”

Bible verse of the day:  Proverbs 16:24 (NKJV)

“Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your sweetness of Words.  Today as I head out, may I use pleasant words to encourage others and share Your Gospel with those around me.  May the things I do glorify Your name and bring a smile onto Your face.  I love You and thank You for this blessed day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen


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Funny Friday Quote:  He was yelling!

A man was in the waiting room of the doctor’s office when he was startled by someone loudly yelling.  Listening closely, he heard, “Typhoid!  Tetanus!  Measles!”  The man immediately went up to the receptionist and asked her what was going on. 

“Oh, that,” she replied.  “It’s just the doctor.  He likes to call the shots around here.” [Author Unknown]

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 147:5 (NIV)

“Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding has no limit.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I praise You this day and thank You for all that You provide.  You sustain me with Your Love, Mercy, and Grace.  There is none like You.  You reach across the sky and light my day and night with Your Amazing Wonders.  I am in total awe of how You move and gently touch lives.  There aren’t enough words in the dictionary that can describe everything about You and for how grateful I am.  I love You Father and I worship You today!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

 

Funny Friday Quote:  Author Unknown

A husband and wife were at a party talking with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. 

“Oh, we’ll never need that.  My husband and I have a great relationship,” the wife explained.  “He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theatre.  He communicates very well, and I just act like I’m listening.

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 119:57 (NKJV)

“You are my portion, O LORD; I have said that I would keep Your words.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being my portion.  You are all that I need each and every day.  I come to You each morning excited to be filled by Your Grace, Mercy, and Love.  You know exactly my needs before I even have to ask, and You lovingly embrace me with Your heart.  Thank You for greeting me at the start of my day and for watching over me as I lay my head to rest.  I love You and thank You for this blessed day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

 

Sorry this is just now getting out, our server was down all day Friday.  Jeff and I hope that you have a blessed weekend!

Christy:)

Funny Friday Quote:  Author Unknown

One day a lady called me and told me that she had a problem with her modem.  She said she couldn’t connect with the Internet.  I asked her, “Is your modem external or internal?”  She replied, “Of course it’s internal.  It’s inside my house!”

Bible verse of the day:  Habbakkuk 3:18 (NIV)

“Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being the strength in my life.  Your Grace and Mercy meet me each day and I am surrounded by Your never ending Love.  I thank You for this blessed day and all that it holds!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

 

Hello Friends and Family,

Jeff and I will be transitioning to New Mexico on the 31st of July.  While we are in transition, our computer access will be in the transfer mode and writing the quotes will be stopping the last week of July and resuming around the second week of August.  Thank you for your patience as the quotes have been a little sporatic in the last few weeks as we have been actively packing and getting ready for yet another move. 

Christy

Funny Friday Quote:  Cliches and Proverbs

“You can lead a horse to water.  If he drowns, never give him mouth to mouth.  Scott Wood

“Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t put his pants on.”  Joe E. Lewis

“On the other hand, you have different fingers.”  Steven Wright

“I made quite a name for myself back home.  I left when I found out what it was.”  Herb Shriner

“Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.”  Author Unknown

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 45:1

“My heart is overflowing with a good theme;  I recite my composition concerning the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being my rock and my fortress.  I delight in You as You are my Strong Tower.  I will seek You early in the morning as my soul thirsts for You.  I love You Heavenly Father and I praise You with my lips and lift my hands to the Heavens.  I thank You for this blessed day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

Funny Friday Quote:  Knock Knock (Author Unknown)
Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Dishes.

Dishes who?

Dishes the police, come out with your hands up!!

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 29:11
 
“May the LORD give strength to his people!  May the LORD bless his people with peace!”
Prayer:
 
Dear Heavenly Father,
I rejoice in You this day and I lift up my praise, that it may bring glory to You.  I thank You for my family and friends and for sharing with me the joy of knowing and loving people the way that You do.  I pray that my heart continues to open and pour out the love that You share with me every day.  I love You and thank You for this blessed day!
In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen
 

Funny Friday Quote:  Humorous Quotes

“My hometown was so small the local Baskin Robbins had only one flavor.”  Vaughn Meader

“Life is a little slower when you live in a small town.  For example, the rush hour traffic reports are reported in the weekly newspaper.”  Ron Dentinger

“It was such a small town, we didn’t even have a village idiot.  We had to take turns.”  Billie Holiday

“It’s such a little town our radio station can’t identify itself.  It’s off the air now.  Somebody tripped over the tower.”  Donna Jean Young

“The town was so small that it had only one yellow page.” Orson Bean

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 104:31

“May the glory of the LORD endure forever; May the LORD rejoice in His works.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am so grateful that my busy season is finally winding down.  It has been one of the busiest weeks of my life.  I am so grateful to You for having given me the strength to endure it, learn from it, and continue moving forward.  As my family heads into the next phase of moving, I am praying for safe travel as we head to our next location and times where I am able to write for Quote of the day.  I thank You for all that this day will hold and I pray for a moment to reflect on all things great!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen