Funny Friday Picks, May 2008

Funny Friday Quote

Funny Friday Quote:  Observational Humor

  • Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
  • When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?
  • Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  • Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
  • What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
  • If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
  • Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow?  Only to be troubled and insecure?

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 100:5

“For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I give thanks and praise to You for You are worthy to be praised!  Thank You for such a blessed day!  May I continue through this day with joy in my heart and singing on my lips.  Continue to lead me in this path that You have placed before me protecting and guiding me that I may be a testimony to others. 

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

May 2008

Back in the trenches

                                                                                                            Story of the day:  Back in the trenches

   Steve Brown “relates the story of a soldier in World War I who was so distraught with the war that he deserted.  He tried to find his way to the coast so he could catch a boat and make his way back incognito to his homeland in England.

   In the darkness of the night he stumbled on a road sign.  It was so pitch black and he was so lost.  He had no idea where he was or what the sign said.  He decided to climb the pole.  When he got to the crossbeam, he held on to read the sign.  Taking out a match, he lit it, and looked directly in the face of Jesus Christ.  He had climbed an outdoor crucifix!

   Stunned by what he saw, realized the shame of his life.  He was looking back into the face of the One who had endured it all and had never turned back.  The next morning the soldier was back in the trenches.”  Have you tried to flee incognito or are you back in the trenches enduring what is set before you?

Quote of the day:  Teresa of Avila

“Many people neglect the task that lies at hand and are content with having wished to do the impossible.”

Bible verse of the day:  John 12:27

“Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say?  Father, save Me from this hour?  But for this purpose I came to this hour.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

So often we are faced with adversity or challenges that may seem hard to endure.  I pray for strength and perseverance to endure the race that is set before me.  Father even if I feel uncomfortable in a situation, may I be reminded that comfort means that I have become complacent in my walk and to be uncomfortable is not always a bad thing.  Father, I don’t want to be comfortable in my walk!  May I continue to raise the bar in my life so that the time that I have remaining here on Earth can bring honor to Your name.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

 

 

May 2008

Spiritual Battle

                                                                                                     

Story of the day:  Spiritual Battle

In the past few weeks, I have come across a lot of people who have been experiencing some troubled times in their lives.  And although our troubles could probably not come close to what a man in the Bible named Job experienced, those tough times can be hard to cope with and often lead us to question why sometimes.  The following story puts theses times into perspective and left me encouraged so I thought I would share it with you all.  The short story is entitled Job’s Birthday and was written by Julie Ackerman.

“Death, divorce, and disease could be called the three D’s of misery.  They slice through life like a tsunami of sorrow, raising doubts and destroying dreams.

Recently, a friend and I agreed that the previous year was one that we both would just as soon forget.  Each of us had suffered one of the three.

Our conversation brought Job to mind.  In a short period of time, he lost his children, his health, his wealth, and his wife’s respect.  Job’s distress was so great that he pleaded, “May the day perish on which I was born” (Job 3:3).  Job wanted God to erase not just a year, but all memory of his existence!  He had enjoyed years of success and respect.  Now, he questioned the purpose of living (3:20).

Job wanted to die and be forgotten, but instead God made sure his name and story would be remembered forever.  Rather than give Job what he asked for, God gave future generations what they would need—an inside look at the spiritual battle between God and Satan.  The result is a God inspired document about suffering that has comforted countless people.

When what we fear actually happens, we know, thanks to Job, that God can use it for good.”

Quote of the day:  Our Daily Bread

“Our highest good may come from our deepest suffering.”

Bible verse of the day:  Job 42:2

“I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for such a blessed weekend.  Father, I pray for those that may be experiencing rough times in their life today.  I pray that during these times that they call out to You and that You will turn their situation around and use it for good.  Father, there have been times in my life where I have called out to You and have wondered why, but because of Your faithfulness and the truth that was revealed to me, You stood by me through my suffering and I grew stronger because of it.  Because of Your Grace and Mercy, I know that when troubled times come, that You will be my Rock.  I thank You for this day and the promise of tomorrow!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

Funny Friday Picks, May 2008

Funny Friday Quote (Two Eskimos)

Funny Friday Quote:  Two Eskimos

“Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.”

Bible verse of the day:  Proverbs 8:17

“I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your Word today.  May Your Words, be a constant guide in my life and a reminder of how great You are.  Father, I thank You for my life and every detail that You have included in it. You know all my ways and  because You love me so much, I am blessed for having shared every detail with You about my life.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

May 2008

God is our consuming fire

                                                                                                              Story of the day:  God is our consuming fire

   There are many different definitions of consuming and fire in the dictionary.  In Hebrews 12:29, the two words consuming and fire work together in meaning that our God is our strong and urgent, burning passion.   I got to thinking about this some more and found in Scripture one account where Moses encountered God’s consuming fire through an actual burning bush.   “The Angel of the Lord” in Exodus 3:2-3 “appeared to Moses in a flame of fire from the midst of a bush.  Moses looked and the bush was burning with fire, yet the bush was not burned by the fire. 

   And although Moses didn’t know at the time , that leading people out of Egypt would become his burning passion, he like most of us was unsure of what to expect and began to question God.  He said in Exodus 4:10,13, “Oh my Lord, I am not eloquent, and I am slow of speech and slow of tongue, please send someone else.”  Then God in His Evident Grace spoke back to Moses and said, “Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.” 

   God wants to spark in each of us His consuming fire so that we may know Him as the great “I AM”.   He wants us to have faith in knowing that what He is calling us to do, is part of His plan and if we are obedient and follow what He is saying without question, then that consuming fire will be lit in each of us and we will be consumed by it.  So don’t worry if you have yet to know what God has planned for your life, instead continue to live by faith and He will begin to show You the calling that He has set before you.   

 Quote of the day:  Bill Hybels

“God calls us to be committed to Him, to be committed to making a difference, and to be committed to reconciliation.”

Bible verse of the day:  Hebrews 12:29

“For our God is a consuming fire.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being my consuming fire.  May I continue to live with a passion that is burning deep within my soul.  Continue to spark in me a willingness to obey what You are asking of me and to do so with a faith that comes from knowing You.  Father continue to mold me into the person that You have created me to become and do so in a way that brings honor to Your name.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

May 2008

Moving Mountains

                                                                                                                     Story of the day:  Moving Mountains

   “We all have mountains to climb and mountains to move.  Jesus taught His disciples that if they had faith, they could move mountains.  You can too.  When you place your faith, your trust, indeed your life in the hands of Christ Jesus, you’ll be amazed at the marvelous things He can do.

   When a suffering woman sought healing by simply touching the hem of His garment, Jesus turned and said, “Daughter be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole”  (Matthew 9:22)  We too can be made whole when we place our faith completely and unwaveringly in the person of Jesus Christ.

   Hannah Whitall Smith advised, “Shout the shout of faith.  Nothing can withstand the triumphant faith that links itself to omnipotence.  For ‘this is the victory that overcometh the world.’  The secret of all successful living lies in this shout of faith.” 

   So, if your faith is being tested, know that Your Savior is near.  If you reach out to Him in faith, He will give you peace, perspective, and hope.  If you are content to touch even the smallest fragment of the Master’s garment, He will make you whole.” Family Christian Press

Quote of the day:  C.S. Lewis

“True faith is never found alone; it is accompanied by expectation.”

Bible verse of the day:  Matthew 9:22

“Thy faith hath made thee whole.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray that my faith is strong, strong enough to move mountains.  Father, You have told me the truth in Your Word that if I have faith as small as a mustard seed, that I can tell this mountain to move from here to there and it will move.  Father, I pray to always remember that no matter what the challenge is in my life that You are always going to be there and will overcome any challenge.  I know that with Your Love and Your Power, I can live faithfully through all situations.  I thank You for this day and for making me whole!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

 

May 2008

Where are you storing your treasure?

                                                                                                    Story of the day:  Where are you storing your treasure?

   “There is a story of a wealthy woman who, when she reached Heaven, was conducted to a very plain house.  She objected.  “Well,” she was told, “that is the dwelling-place prepared for you.”

   “Whose is that fine mansion across the way?” she asked.

   Her guide replied, “It belongs to your gardener.”

   “How is it that he has a house so much better than mine?”

   “The houses here are prepared from the materials that are sent up.  We do not choose them; you do that by your faithfulness while on earth.”

   This may be a story, but it bears a profound truth about the “treasures” we accumulate.”  Michael P. Green

Quote of the day:  Peter Maurin

“The world would be better off if people tried to become better.  And people would become better if they stopped trying to become better off.  For when everybody tries to become better off, nobody becomes better off.  But when everybody tries to become better, everybody is better off.”

Bible verse of the day:  Matthew 6:21

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Your Word is so clear in Matthew 6:19-21 about not laying our treasures here on earth, but up in Heaven.  Father, may I be reminded daily that the stuff here on earth, is just stuff that can’t be taken with me when I die, and the things that I do for Your Kingdom are eternal.  I pray to You for an eternal mindset in all areas of my life.  Father, I am so thankful to You for always meeting my needs even when I don’t know how it’s going to be done and the faith that I have in You is far greater than worrying about it.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

May 2008

Living a focused life

                                                                                                                  Story of the day:  Living a focused life

   Sometimes it can be difficult or “tough to live a focused life.  From every direction, something or someone clamors for our attention.  A distraction draws our eyes and the next thing we know, we’ve swerved off the road and headed down another detour.

   One Chicago youth pastor came up with a clever way to keep his group on track.  Concerned that the balmy beaches of Florida-the site of their upcoming evangelism trip-would lure the teens from their purpose, he fashioned a cross from two pieces of lumber.  Just before they climbed on the bus, he showed it to the group.

   “I want all of you to remember that the whole purpose of our going is to glorify the name of Christ, to lift up the Cross-the message of the Cross, the emphasis of the Cross, the Christ of the Cross,” he announced.  “So we’re going to take this cross wherever we go.”

   The teenagers looked at one another, a little unsure of his plan.  But they agreed to do it and dragged the cross on the bus.  It banged back and forth in the aisle all the way to Florida.  It went with them into restaurants.  It stayed overnight where they stayed overnight.  It stood in the sand while they ministered on the beach.

   At first, lugging the cross around embarrassed the kids.  But later, it became a point of identification.  That cross was a constant, silent reminder of who they were and why they had come.  They eventually regarded carrying it as an honor and privilege.

   The night before they went home, the youth leader handed out two nails to each of the kids.  He told them that if they wanted to commit themselves to what the cross stood for, they could hammer one nail into it and keep the other with them.  One by one, the teens drove their nail into the cross.

   About 15 years later, one fellow-now a stockbroker, called the youth leader.  He told him that he still keeps that nail with him in his desk drawer.  Whenever he loses his sense of focus, he looks at the nail and remembers the cross on that beach in Florida.  It reminds him of what is at the core of his life–his commitment to Jesus Christ.” (Chuck Swindoll)

Quote of the day:  Haddon Robinson

“You will invest your life in something, or you will throw it away on nothing.”

Bible verse of the day:  1 Corinthians 15:58

“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

It is so easy to become distracted.  Father, as I pick up my cross daily, it is a constant reminder to me that You paid the ultimate price and that Your love for me is far greater than the things in this world.  Father, when distractions come my way, may I be reminded, just as this story has told, that You are at the core of my life and living for You, serving You, and loving others is a commitment that I wish to honor.  I thank You for this day and I love You for all that You have done.  

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

Funny Friday Picks, May 2008

Funny Friday Quote: Gone to Sea

Funny Friday Quote:  Gone to sea

“Just as the preacher was about to enter the pulpit, a woman in the congregation handed him a note about her husband.  It read:  “Bill Adams having gone to sea, his wife desires the congregation’s prayers for his safety.”  The preacher, pressed for time, read the note too hastily, telling the congregation, “Bill Adams, having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety.”

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 71:3

“Be my strong refuge, to which I may resort continually; You have given the commandment to save me, for You are my rock and my fortress.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I just can’t believe how quickly time is flying by!  With so much to do and such little time before our big move, I just pray that You bring things in order, starting with our minds, spirit, and body.  May we find rest in You this day and continue to look forward with the plans that You have set before us.  I thank You for all that You have done in my life and I pray that You continue to change lives and that souls will be saved.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name  I pray,

Amen

 

May 2008

The Road of Life

Story of the day:  The Road of Life by Tim Hansel

   “At first, I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited Heaven or hell when I die.  He was out there sort of like a president.

   But later on when I met Christ, it seemed as though life were rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that Christ was in the back helping me pedal.

   I don’t know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since.  When I had control, I knew the way.  It was rather boring, but predictable….It was the shortest distance between two points.

   But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds, it was all I could do to hang on!  Even though it looked like madness, He said, “Pedal!”

   I worried and was anxious and asked, “Where are you taking me?”  He laughed and didn’t answer, and I started to learn to trust.

   I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure.  And when I’d say, “I’m scared,” He’d lean back and touch my hand.

   He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy.  They gave me gifts to take on my journey, my Lord’s and mine.

   And we were off again.  He said, “Give the gifts away; they’re extra baggage, too much weight.”  So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.

   I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life.  I thought He’d wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, knows how to jump to clear high rocks, knows how to fly to shorten scary passages.

   And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I’m beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.

   And when I’m sure I just can’t do any more, He just smiles and says, “Pedal.”

Quote of the day:  E. Stanley Jones

“Jesus is not a strong man making men and women who gather around Him weak.  He is the Strong creating the strong.”

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 37:3

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I trust in You Lord and for all the things that You are going to bring forward into my life.  Father, may I find rest in You in this day as I trust that the things that I have been praying for will be answered when the time is right.  I pray that You guard my ways in all that I do and that as I lean upon You as my Rock and Shield that You protect me from things that aren’t pleasing to You.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen