Funny Friday Picks, May 2008

Funny Friday Quote

Funny Friday Quote:  Observational Humor

  • Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
  • When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?
  • Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  • Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
  • What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
  • If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
  • Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow?  Only to be troubled and insecure?

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 100:5

“For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I give thanks and praise to You for You are worthy to be praised!  Thank You for such a blessed day!  May I continue through this day with joy in my heart and singing on my lips.  Continue to lead me in this path that You have placed before me protecting and guiding me that I may be a testimony to others. 

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

May 2008

Back in the trenches

                                                                                                            Story of the day:  Back in the trenches

   Steve Brown “relates the story of a soldier in World War I who was so distraught with the war that he deserted.  He tried to find his way to the coast so he could catch a boat and make his way back incognito to his homeland in England.

   In the darkness of the night he stumbled on a road sign.  It was so pitch black and he was so lost.  He had no idea where he was or what the sign said.  He decided to climb the pole.  When he got to the crossbeam, he held on to read the sign.  Taking out a match, he lit it, and looked directly in the face of Jesus Christ.  He had climbed an outdoor crucifix!

   Stunned by what he saw, realized the shame of his life.  He was looking back into the face of the One who had endured it all and had never turned back.  The next morning the soldier was back in the trenches.”  Have you tried to flee incognito or are you back in the trenches enduring what is set before you?

Quote of the day:  Teresa of Avila

“Many people neglect the task that lies at hand and are content with having wished to do the impossible.”

Bible verse of the day:  John 12:27

“Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say?  Father, save Me from this hour?  But for this purpose I came to this hour.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

So often we are faced with adversity or challenges that may seem hard to endure.  I pray for strength and perseverance to endure the race that is set before me.  Father even if I feel uncomfortable in a situation, may I be reminded that comfort means that I have become complacent in my walk and to be uncomfortable is not always a bad thing.  Father, I don’t want to be comfortable in my walk!  May I continue to raise the bar in my life so that the time that I have remaining here on Earth can bring honor to Your name.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

 

 

May 2008

Spiritual Battle

                                                                                                     

Story of the day:  Spiritual Battle

In the past few weeks, I have come across a lot of people who have been experiencing some troubled times in their lives.  And although our troubles could probably not come close to what a man in the Bible named Job experienced, those tough times can be hard to cope with and often lead us to question why sometimes.  The following story puts theses times into perspective and left me encouraged so I thought I would share it with you all.  The short story is entitled Job’s Birthday and was written by Julie Ackerman.

“Death, divorce, and disease could be called the three D’s of misery.  They slice through life like a tsunami of sorrow, raising doubts and destroying dreams.

Recently, a friend and I agreed that the previous year was one that we both would just as soon forget.  Each of us had suffered one of the three.

Our conversation brought Job to mind.  In a short period of time, he lost his children, his health, his wealth, and his wife’s respect.  Job’s distress was so great that he pleaded, “May the day perish on which I was born” (Job 3:3).  Job wanted God to erase not just a year, but all memory of his existence!  He had enjoyed years of success and respect.  Now, he questioned the purpose of living (3:20).

Job wanted to die and be forgotten, but instead God made sure his name and story would be remembered forever.  Rather than give Job what he asked for, God gave future generations what they would need—an inside look at the spiritual battle between God and Satan.  The result is a God inspired document about suffering that has comforted countless people.

When what we fear actually happens, we know, thanks to Job, that God can use it for good.”

Quote of the day:  Our Daily Bread

“Our highest good may come from our deepest suffering.”

Bible verse of the day:  Job 42:2

“I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for such a blessed weekend.  Father, I pray for those that may be experiencing rough times in their life today.  I pray that during these times that they call out to You and that You will turn their situation around and use it for good.  Father, there have been times in my life where I have called out to You and have wondered why, but because of Your faithfulness and the truth that was revealed to me, You stood by me through my suffering and I grew stronger because of it.  Because of Your Grace and Mercy, I know that when troubled times come, that You will be my Rock.  I thank You for this day and the promise of tomorrow!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

Funny Friday Picks, May 2008

Funny Friday Quote (Two Eskimos)

Funny Friday Quote:  Two Eskimos

“Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.”

Bible verse of the day:  Proverbs 8:17

“I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your Word today.  May Your Words, be a constant guide in my life and a reminder of how great You are.  Father, I thank You for my life and every detail that You have included in it. You know all my ways and  because You love me so much, I am blessed for having shared every detail with You about my life.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

May 2008

God is our consuming fire

                                                                                                              Story of the day:  God is our consuming fire

   There are many different definitions of consuming and fire in the dictionary.  In Hebrews 12:29, the two words consuming and fire work together in meaning that our God is our strong and urgent, burning passion.   I got to thinking about this some more and found in Scripture one account where Moses encountered God’s consuming fire through an actual burning bush.   “The Angel of the Lord” in Exodus 3:2-3 “appeared to Moses in a flame of fire from the midst of a bush.  Moses looked and the bush was burning with fire, yet the bush was not burned by the fire. 

   And although Moses didn’t know at the time , that leading people out of Egypt would become his burning passion, he like most of us was unsure of what to expect and began to question God.  He said in Exodus 4:10,13, “Oh my Lord, I am not eloquent, and I am slow of speech and slow of tongue, please send someone else.”  Then God in His Evident Grace spoke back to Moses and said, “Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.” 

   God wants to spark in each of us His consuming fire so that we may know Him as the great “I AM”.   He wants us to have faith in knowing that what He is calling us to do, is part of His plan and if we are obedient and follow what He is saying without question, then that consuming fire will be lit in each of us and we will be consumed by it.  So don’t worry if you have yet to know what God has planned for your life, instead continue to live by faith and He will begin to show You the calling that He has set before you.   

 Quote of the day:  Bill Hybels

“God calls us to be committed to Him, to be committed to making a difference, and to be committed to reconciliation.”

Bible verse of the day:  Hebrews 12:29

“For our God is a consuming fire.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being my consuming fire.  May I continue to live with a passion that is burning deep within my soul.  Continue to spark in me a willingness to obey what You are asking of me and to do so with a faith that comes from knowing You.  Father continue to mold me into the person that You have created me to become and do so in a way that brings honor to Your name.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

May 2008

Moving Mountains

                                                                                                                     Story of the day:  Moving Mountains

   “We all have mountains to climb and mountains to move.  Jesus taught His disciples that if they had faith, they could move mountains.  You can too.  When you place your faith, your trust, indeed your life in the hands of Christ Jesus, you’ll be amazed at the marvelous things He can do.

   When a suffering woman sought healing by simply touching the hem of His garment, Jesus turned and said, “Daughter be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole”  (Matthew 9:22)  We too can be made whole when we place our faith completely and unwaveringly in the person of Jesus Christ.

   Hannah Whitall Smith advised, “Shout the shout of faith.  Nothing can withstand the triumphant faith that links itself to omnipotence.  For ‘this is the victory that overcometh the world.’  The secret of all successful living lies in this shout of faith.” 

   So, if your faith is being tested, know that Your Savior is near.  If you reach out to Him in faith, He will give you peace, perspective, and hope.  If you are content to touch even the smallest fragment of the Master’s garment, He will make you whole.” Family Christian Press

Quote of the day:  C.S. Lewis

“True faith is never found alone; it is accompanied by expectation.”

Bible verse of the day:  Matthew 9:22

“Thy faith hath made thee whole.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray that my faith is strong, strong enough to move mountains.  Father, You have told me the truth in Your Word that if I have faith as small as a mustard seed, that I can tell this mountain to move from here to there and it will move.  Father, I pray to always remember that no matter what the challenge is in my life that You are always going to be there and will overcome any challenge.  I know that with Your Love and Your Power, I can live faithfully through all situations.  I thank You for this day and for making me whole!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

 

May 2008

Where are you storing your treasure?

                                                                                                    Story of the day:  Where are you storing your treasure?

   “There is a story of a wealthy woman who, when she reached Heaven, was conducted to a very plain house.  She objected.  “Well,” she was told, “that is the dwelling-place prepared for you.”

   “Whose is that fine mansion across the way?” she asked.

   Her guide replied, “It belongs to your gardener.”

   “How is it that he has a house so much better than mine?”

   “The houses here are prepared from the materials that are sent up.  We do not choose them; you do that by your faithfulness while on earth.”

   This may be a story, but it bears a profound truth about the “treasures” we accumulate.”  Michael P. Green

Quote of the day:  Peter Maurin

“The world would be better off if people tried to become better.  And people would become better if they stopped trying to become better off.  For when everybody tries to become better off, nobody becomes better off.  But when everybody tries to become better, everybody is better off.”

Bible verse of the day:  Matthew 6:21

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Your Word is so clear in Matthew 6:19-21 about not laying our treasures here on earth, but up in Heaven.  Father, may I be reminded daily that the stuff here on earth, is just stuff that can’t be taken with me when I die, and the things that I do for Your Kingdom are eternal.  I pray to You for an eternal mindset in all areas of my life.  Father, I am so thankful to You for always meeting my needs even when I don’t know how it’s going to be done and the faith that I have in You is far greater than worrying about it.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen