February 2010, Funny Friday Picks

Funny Friday Quote:I’ll admit it, if you admit it.

Funny Friday Quote: “I’ll admit it, if you admit it.” (Jim Kraus)

A husband and wife got into a petty argument. Neither of them would admit the possibility that the other might be in error.

To her credit, the wife finally said, “Look. I’ll admit I’m wrong if you admit I was right.”

“Fine,” her husband said.

She took a deep breath, looked her husband in the eye and said, “I’m wrong.”

With a big grin, her husband replied, “You’re right.”

Bible verse of the day: Hebrews 12:14 (NKJV)

“Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Seeing people smile and laugh brings me great joy. I am so grateful to You for laughter. It warms the spirit and brightens my day. Thank You for sharing these different things with us. They are just another reminder of how great You are. Thank You for this beautiful day and all that it will hold.

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

February 2010

Funny Friday Quote: Pull Over!

Funny Friday Quote: Pull Over!

The police officer couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw a woman drive past him on the freeway, busily knitting.

Quickly he pulled along side the vehicle, rolled down his window and shouted, “Pull over!”

“No,” the woman yelled back cheerfully. “Socks!”

Bible verse of the day: 1 Corinthians 10:31 (NKJV)

“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

As I step into Your presence this morning, I give You all the glory for all that will come of my day. May my feet be planted in Your Word and my heart full of love to share with those around me. I love You Father and I am thankful for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen



Funny Friday Picks

Funny Friday Quote: Looking Back

Story of the day:  Looking back

The Sunday school teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.

“My mommy looked back once while she was driving,” a boy interrupted excitedly.  “She turned into a telephone pole!” (Jim Kraus)

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 143:8

“Let me hear of your steadfast love in the morning, for in you I put my trust.  Teach me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for today.  May this day be used for Your glory, sharing Your Word with others and loving them as You do.  I pray to become a humbled warrior, speaking Truth to all I meet.

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

December 2009, Funny Friday Picks

Funny Friday Quote: Childhood Sweethearts

Funny Friday Quote:  Childhood Sweethearts

A couple, who were childhood sweethearts, had married and lived in the neighborhood where they grew up.

Because it was close to their 50th wedding anniversary, the couple decided to visit their old school.  After a half hour reminiscing, the couple left home to walk home.

Suddenly, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, landing at their feet.  “Let’s take it home and then contact the authorities,” the wife said.  At home, she counted the money:  there was 5 million dollars in the bag!

“We’ve got to turn it in,” the husband said.

“Finders keepers,” his wife said greedily, promptly heading to the attic to hide the money.

The next day, two FBI men showed up at their door.  “Excuse me, but did either of you find any money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”

“No,” the wife said quickly.

“She’s lying!!” the husband interjected.

“Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”

“Sir, start from the beginning,” the agent said.

“Well,” the husband began, “when we were walking home from school yesterday….”

The FBI agents looked at each other in alarm and said, “Let’s get out of here!!” [Jim Kraus]

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 89:8 (NIV)

“O LORD God, Almighty, who is like you?  You are mighty, O LORD, and Your faithfulness surrounds You.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for such a blessed day!  My heart sings praises to You and my soul delights in Your Ways.  May today be used for Your glory with all that it may hold.  I love You Father and I worship You with every breath that is within me!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen


December 2009

Funny Friday Quote: Things my Mama taught me

Funny Friday Quote:  Things my Mama taught me

My mama taught me about behavior modification. (Stop acting like your father!)

My mama taught me about envy. (There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!)

My mama taught me about anticipation.  (Just wait until you get home.)

My mama taught me about receiving.  (You are going to get it when we get home!)

My mama taught me about wisdom. (When you get to be my age, you will understand.)

My mama taught me about justice(One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!)

Bible verse of the day:  Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am so thankful for my parents.  They are a wonderful gift that I look up to each and every day.  I pray to lead my children in Your way that they too will not turn from it.  I thank You for this blessed day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

December 2009

Funny Friday Quote: The Loooonnnnngggg Sermon

Funny Friday Quote: The Loooonnnnngggg Sermon

A visiting pastor was preaching a sermon. He got a bit carried away and talked for two hours.

Finally he realized what he was doing and said to the congregation, “I’m sorry I talked so long.  I left my watch at home.”

To which someone replied, “There’s a calendar on the far wall.”

Bible verse of the day:  Colossians 1:17

“He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for this wonderful day.  My breath is a constant reminder of how grateful I am to be alive and to serve You each and every day.  Life is so precious and I treasure each moment that I have been given.  May not an hour go by that I don’t think about all of Your Glory and what You have done for me!  I give You praise my King and I worship You and You alone!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

 

November 2009

Funny Friday Quote: Test Grading

Funny Friday Quote:  Test Grading (Jim Kraus)

At a large college there was a star athlete who was academically challenged.  In one of his classes he sat beside a straight A student.  The professor suspected that the athlete was cheating, but she didn’t have actual evidence.

Grading the midterm exam, she saw that for question number 10, the smart student had written, “I don’t know the answer.”

Immediately checking answer 10 on the athlete’s exam, she smiled knowingly.  He had written, “Me neither.”

Bible verse of the day: Proverbs 3:13

“Happy is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for this blessing of a day.  It is filled with Your beauty that shines off of the sunrise and the sunset.  I pray that this day will used for Your Glory and may I find rest in You.  I love You Father, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a part of Your Great Commission.

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen