Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

Funny Friday Quote:  Test Grading (Jim Kraus)

At a large college there was a star athlete who was academically challenged.  In one of his classes he sat beside a straight A student.  The professor suspected that the athlete was cheating, but she didn’t have actual evidence.

Grading the midterm exam, she saw that for question number 10, the smart student had written, “I don’t know the answer.”

Immediately checking answer 10 on the athlete’s exam, she smiled knowingly.  He had written, “Me neither.”

Bible verse of the day: Proverbs 3:13

“Happy is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for this blessing of a day.  It is filled with Your beauty that shines off of the sunrise and the sunset.  I pray that this day will used for Your Glory and may I find rest in You.  I love You Father, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a part of Your Great Commission.

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

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Funny Friday Quote:   Work (Author Unknown)

“I like work.  It fascinates me.  I can sit and look at it for hours.”

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 104:23

“Man goes out to his work and to his labor until the evening.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for such a blessed week!  Father, I give You praise and glory this day for You are so worthy to be praised.  I lift my eyes to Your beautiful skies and am thankful to be alive.  I love You and thank You for this beautiful day!

In Jesus name I pray,

Amen

Funny Friday Quote:  Ron Dentinger

“These are tough times.  But I’m not the only one with problems.  My bank returned a sixty-five dollar check marked “INSUFFICIENT FUNDS.”  I can’t believe they don’t have sixty-five dollars.”

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 40:3

“He has put a new song in my mouth—Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, and will trust in the LORD.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I will continue to sing songs of praise to You everyday of my life.  Father as the move draws near and the things around me seem to be out of order, I will trust in You to give me the peace that I need to get through it.  As I look to You as my Ultimate source of strength, I will walk daily in knowing that You will be there to comfort and guide me in this new endeavour.  As I look to today with excitement, gearing up for all the adventures that the day may hold, I pray that You will use me to share Your wonderful News with others, that they may come to know You as their Lord and Savior, and have a personal relationship with You.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

                                                                                                                     Story of the day:  Keep things humorous

   Chuck Swindoll wrote an interesting piece in his book titled Finishing Touch.  He touches on an important topic that I just love.  He asks in this book, “How is your sense of humor?  Are the times in which we live beginning to be reflected in your attitude, your face, your outlook?  Solomon talks straight, friend.  He (under the Holy Spirit’s direction) says three things will occur when we have lost our sense of humor:  a broken spirit, a lack of inner healing, and dried-up-bones (Prov. 15:13, 15; 17:22).  What a barren portrait!

   Have you begun to shrivel into a bitter, impatient, critical Christian?  The Lord tells us that the solution is simple:  “A joyful heart” is what we need…and if we ever needed it, it is now.

   By a sense of humor I am not referring to distasteful or vulgar jesting, nor to foolish and silly talk that is ill-timed, offensive, and tactless.  I mean that necessary ingredient of wit:  those humorous, enjoyable, and delightful expressions or thoughts that lift our spirits and lighten our day.  When we lose our ability to laugh–I mean really laugh–life’s oppressive assaults confine us to the dark dungeon of defeat. 

    Humor is not a sin.  It is a God-given escape hatch, a safety valve.  Being able to see the lighter side of life is rare, vital virtue.  Personally, I think a healthy sense of humor is determined by at least four abilities:

   The ability to laugh at our own mistakes.  The ability to accept justified criticism–and get over it!  The ability to interject (or at least enjoy) wholesome humor when surrounded by a tense heated situation.  The ability to control those statements that would be unfit–even though they may be funny.

   James M. Gray and William Houghton were two great, godly men of the Word.  Dr.  Houghton writes of an occasion when he and Dr. Gray were praying together.  Dr. Grey, though getting up in years, was still interested in being an effective witness and expositor.  He concluded his prayer by saying:  “And, Lord, keep me cheerful.  Keep me from becoming a cranky, old man!”

   You and I should pray the same prayer.”

Quote of the day:  Fred Allen

“It is bad to suppress your laughter because when you do, it goes back down and spreads to your hips.”

Bible verse of the day:  Proverbs 15:13

“A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray that You continue to teach me how to laugh!!  I want to enjoy life in every way possible and do so in a way that honors You.  Father, joy and laughter is something that is dear to my heart and at times, I may tend to lose sight of that funny side of me.  Father, I don’t want to be cranky the older I get.  Instead, I want to embrace all the moments of life that have made me smile and laugh and share them with others.  I pray for wisdom in knowing when to be funny and when not to be.  I don’t want the portrait of my life to be portrayed as a life that was a broken spirit to all that I came across.   Instead may I be remembered as one that always laughed and enjoyed the life that You have blessed me with!  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen