Funny Friday Quote: I’ve got shingles

Funny Friday Quote:  I’ve got shingles!

A fellow walked into a doctor’s office, and when the receptionist asked him what he had he replied, “Shingles.”

She took down his name, address, insurance information, and told him to have a seat.  Ten minutes later a nurse came and asked him what he had.

“Shingles.”

She took him in the back and did a complete workup.  Twenty minutes later the doctor came in.  “What are you here for?”

“Shingles.”

“Where?” the doctor asked.

“In the truck.  Where do you want them?” [Jim Kraus]

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 18:25 (NKJV) 

“With the merciful You will show Yourself merciful; with a blameless man You will show Yourself blameless;”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today is the day that You have made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it.  I praise You with all that I am and I find rest in You this day.  I thank You for all that You do in my life and that You continue to do.  I ask for wisdom today in some areas in my life and for peace to pass all understanding that I may have.  I love You and thank You for this blessed day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

Funny Friday Quote: He was yelling!

Funny Friday Quote:  He was yelling!

A man was in the waiting room of the doctor’s office when he was startled by someone loudly yelling.  Listening closely, he heard, “Typhoid!  Tetanus!  Measles!”  The man immediately went up to the receptionist and asked her what was going on. 

“Oh, that,” she replied.  “It’s just the doctor.  He likes to call the shots around here.” [Author Unknown]

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 147:5 (NIV)

“Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding has no limit.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I praise You this day and thank You for all that You provide.  You sustain me with Your Love, Mercy, and Grace.  There is none like You.  You reach across the sky and light my day and night with Your Amazing Wonders.  I am in total awe of how You move and gently touch lives.  There aren’t enough words in the dictionary that can describe everything about You and for how grateful I am.  I love You Father and I worship You today!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

 

Funny Friday Quote (Now tell me the medical term)

Funny Friday Quote:  ( Now tell me the medical term) Herschel H. Hobbs

     “The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.  When the examination was complete, he said, “Now Doc, I can take it.  Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”

     “Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.”

     “Okay,” said the man.  “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 106:4

“Remember me, O LORD, with the favor You have toward Your people.  Oh, visit me with Your salvation.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for a blessed week.  As another week rolls by and we are soon heading into October, may we use our time wisely to spread Your Truth to a world that is in need.  Give me wisdom this day and may Your Will be done.  I pray that opportunities arise to share Your Love and Saving Grace with others.  May we have a blessed weekend, with continual worship and praise.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

Funny Friday Quote: What’s wrong with my wife?

Since we will be heading out tomorrow morning and are finalizing the remainder of things here in Dayton (shutting down Internet) I am sending the Funny Friday Quote early.  After today, we will no longer have access to it until we get Internet access in Dallas.  We are so excited to announce that our Pastor will be ordaining Jeff this coming August and thus answering another prayer.  As we begin to see and continue to follow the path that God is placing before us, we can’t wait to start the church in San Antonio, Texas.  We will be a sister church to our current church and look forward to all that God is going to be doing throughout this nation.   We will also be launching Sword Ministries via the internet where it and Quote of the day will fall under our church to become a part of a bigger ministry.    Jeff and I will continue to pray for you all and can’t wait to share more adventures with you.

In Christ’s Love,

Christy:)

Funny Friday Quote:  What’s wrong with my wife?

     “A doctor came into a hospital room and told the patient’s husband to wait outside while he examined his wife.  A few minutes later the doctor came out and asked a nurse’s aide if she could get him a pair of pliers.  She did, and he went back into the patient’s room.  Five minutes later he came out and asked for a hammer, the anxious husband demanded to know what was wrong with his wife.  “I don’t know yet,” the doctor said.  “I can’t get my bag open.” (Executive Speechwriter Newsletter)

Bible verse of the day:  Mark 6:31

“And He said to them, “Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest while.”  For there were many coming and going, and they did not eve have time to eat.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today ends another week and begins another weekend.  Father, as we head out today, I pray that You continue to guide us for Your Will and show us the things that we need to know for today.  Give us peace as we head into a new area, a new adventure waiting, and new people that we get to meet.  Father, I pray for individuals that don’t know You as their Lord and Savior.  Continue to speak into their hearts and may they hear that ever so gentle voice calling them.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

Funny Friday Quote: The Pearly Gates

Funny Friday Quote:  The Pearly Gates

   Three aged men arrive at the Pearly Gates at the same time.  As part of their orientation to Heaven, St. Peter asks what kind of remarks they would most like to hear from their family and friends at their funerals.

   “I would like to hear them say I was a great doctor and a good family man,” said the first.

   “I would like to hear themm say I was a wonderful husband and that, during my career as a schoolteacher, I made a difference in many lives,” chimed in the second fellow.

  “Those both sound terrific,” replied the third, “but I’d like to hear them say, ‘look!  He’s moving!'”

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 62:7

“In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray to know the love of Christ which passes all understanding and to be filled with all the fullness that comes from knowing You.  It is a true blessing when I hear your voice no matter what the circumstances are in my life.  I pray that You continue to show me and teach me how to hear Your voice so that no matter what distractions may come my way, I am able to hear it and to follow all that You have planned for me.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

Funny Friday Quote

Funny Friday Quote:  Jeff Rovin

   “The doctor decided to put his patient on a diet.   “I want you to eat regularly for two days,”  the physician directed.   “Then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two more weeks.  The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds.”

   When the man returned, he had lost twenty pounds.  “You did this just by following my instructions?”  the doctor asked.

   The fellow nodded.  “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”

   “From hunger?”

   “No, from skipping!”

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 8:1

“O LORD, our Lord, How excellent is Your name in all the earth, Who have set Your glory above the heavens!”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for such an awesome day!  Today as I venture out into what Your day holds for me, I pray that You show me Your ways and lead me in Your truth.  Examine me Father that I may  walk in integrity.  Lord, I wish to only seek and serve You the rest of my days here on this earth.  I love You Father and I pray for a weekend of continued service and worship to You in the hopes that lives may be changed.  Father, those that don’t know You and don’t have a personal relationship with You, may You stir in them the love that You have so blessed me with that their only desire will be to seek You out.

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

God, I’m still here.

                                                                                                                 Story of the day:  God, I’m still here.

   “A young man, who was obviously worried, stepped into an elevator to go to the second floor of a hospital where his father was in the intensive care unit.  Although the button labeled “2” was already lighted, he pushed it again and again.  A doctor standing behind him said, “Pushing the button someone has already pushed is like reminding God you’re still there when he hasn’t answered your prayer immediately.”

   As the man thought of his father in the intensive care, it was comforting to know that God does encourage believers to continue to pray the same prayers until he answers.”

Quote of the day:  Eugene Peterson

“In prayer, we are aware that God is in action and that when the circumstances are ready, when others are in the right place, and when are hearts are prepared, he will call us into the action.  Waiting in prayer is a disciplined refusal to act before God acts.”

Bible verse of the day: Matthew 7:7

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You that You answer prayers.  Thank You for showing Yourself to us by answered prayers.  Father may the words that I pray to You be a sweet sound to Your ears and as I praise You for all that You do, may I be humbled by the way that You do things.  I stand amazed ever single day, because You are so Loving, forgiving, and full of so much Grace.  You bless me daily by the people that You have placed in my life.  As I continue on this life’s journey, may I be reminded daily of the great sacrifice that You made for me by allowing Your one and only Son Jesus to die on a cross.  It was because of Your great LOVE that I am now able to live.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen