Funny Friday Quote: He was yelling!

Funny Friday Quote:  He was yelling!

A man was in the waiting room of the doctor’s office when he was startled by someone loudly yelling.  Listening closely, he heard, “Typhoid!  Tetanus!  Measles!”  The man immediately went up to the receptionist and asked her what was going on. 

“Oh, that,” she replied.  “It’s just the doctor.  He likes to call the shots around here.” [Author Unknown]

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 147:5 (NIV)

“Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding has no limit.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I praise You this day and thank You for all that You provide.  You sustain me with Your Love, Mercy, and Grace.  There is none like You.  You reach across the sky and light my day and night with Your Amazing Wonders.  I am in total awe of how You move and gently touch lives.  There aren’t enough words in the dictionary that can describe everything about You and for how grateful I am.  I love You Father and I worship You today!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

 

Funny Friday Quote: It’s flooded

Funny Friday Quote:  It’s flooded

     “Honey, I can’t get the car started.  I think it’s flooded.”

     “Let me try it.  Where is it?”

     “In the river.”

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 147:1

“Praise the Lord!  For it is good to sing praises to our God;  For it is pleasant, and praise is beautiful.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

You are so worthy of all my praise!  You light up the sky with Your Son and every day, I find beauty in all that You have created.  I find my daily fulfillment in Your Love and rest in Your Peace.  I thank You for this blessed day and for all that it will hold! 

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

 

Funny Friday Quote: The Pearly Gates

Funny Friday Quote:  The Pearly Gates

   Three aged men arrive at the Pearly Gates at the same time.  As part of their orientation to Heaven, St. Peter asks what kind of remarks they would most like to hear from their family and friends at their funerals.

   “I would like to hear them say I was a great doctor and a good family man,” said the first.

   “I would like to hear themm say I was a wonderful husband and that, during my career as a schoolteacher, I made a difference in many lives,” chimed in the second fellow.

  “Those both sound terrific,” replied the third, “but I’d like to hear them say, ‘look!  He’s moving!'”

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 62:7

“In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray to know the love of Christ which passes all understanding and to be filled with all the fullness that comes from knowing You.  It is a true blessing when I hear your voice no matter what the circumstances are in my life.  I pray that You continue to show me and teach me how to hear Your voice so that no matter what distractions may come my way, I am able to hear it and to follow all that You have planned for me.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

Funny Friday Quote

Funny Friday Quote:  Observational Humor

• Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
• When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?
• Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
• What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
• If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow?  Only to be troubled and insecure?

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 100:5

“For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I give thanks and praise to You for You are worthy to be praised!  Thank You for such a blessed day!  May I continue through this day with joy in my heart and singing on my lips.  Continue to lead me in this path that You have placed before me protecting and guiding me that I may be a testimony to others. 

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen 

Funny Friday Quote

Funny Friday Quote:  Jeff Rovin

   “The doctor decided to put his patient on a diet.   “I want you to eat regularly for two days,”  the physician directed.   “Then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two more weeks.  The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds.”

   When the man returned, he had lost twenty pounds.  “You did this just by following my instructions?”  the doctor asked.

   The fellow nodded.  “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”

   “From hunger?”

   “No, from skipping!”

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 8:1

“O LORD, our Lord, How excellent is Your name in all the earth, Who have set Your glory above the heavens!”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for such an awesome day!  Today as I venture out into what Your day holds for me, I pray that You show me Your ways and lead me in Your truth.  Examine me Father that I may  walk in integrity.  Lord, I wish to only seek and serve You the rest of my days here on this earth.  I love You Father and I pray for a weekend of continued service and worship to You in the hopes that lives may be changed.  Father, those that don’t know You and don’t have a personal relationship with You, may You stir in them the love that You have so blessed me with that their only desire will be to seek You out.

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

Your actions carry far more weight.

Story of the day:  Your actions carry far more weight.

   “Major Osipovich, an air force pilot for the former USSR, planned to give a talk at his children’s school about peace.  He would need time off during the day to give his talk, so he volunteered for night duty.  That’s how Major Osipovich found himself patrolling the skies over the eastern regions of the Soviet Union on September 1, 1983–the night Korean Airlines Flight KE007, strayed into Soviet air space.

   Soon the Soviet pilot was caught in a series of blunders and misinformation.  In the end, Major Osipovich followed orders and shot down the unidentified aircraft.  The actions of an air force major preparing to talk about peace plunged 240 passengers to their deaths and sparked an international incident that pushed world powers to a stand-off.

   Our talk is important.  But our actions carry far more weight.”

Quote of the day:  Author Unknown

“Our actions speak louder than words.”

Bible verse of the day:  Psalm 143:10

“Teach me to do Your will, for you are my God; Your Spirit is good.  Lead me in the land of uprightness.”

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

The words that I speak as the story above has said,  are important, but carry little weight when it comes to my actions.  Father, teach me how to guard my heart, my tongue, and my mind to the things that are only pleasing to You.  May I speak when the need arises, and be quiet if I don’t need to talk.   Father, I wish to only do Your will and so I ask that You continue to teach me how to, because just as the Psalms say, “You are my God; Your Spirit is good”, and in You I put my trust.  I thank You for this day!

In Jesus Name I pray

Amen